Once a Cheater Always a Cheater Is It True?
You’ve probably heard the old saying, “once a cheater, always a cheater,” and you may be thinking, “it never changes,” goes hand in hand with that, too. Unfortunately, this is not, for the most part, untrue. Studies have shown that a person who has cheated in a previous relationship is in fact, three times as likely to cheat again. That’s hard to overcome, and those are odds for you to consider as you enter into a relationship with a known cheater. But, if you think your contender is the one in three, there are ways to help avoid being cheated on again & ways to help reform your wayward lover. Here are some steps to keep cheaters from ruining your relationship.
Those who cheated in their first relationship are three times more likely to cheat again
A study from the University of Denver suggests that those who have been cheated on there partner in their first relationship, were found to be most often, likely to cheat again. It is important to note that the researchers in this case study followed the behavior of hundreds of people who are not married, but were in committed, long term relationships. They found time and again, that people who were caught cheating in their first relationship, were three times more likely to commit the same sins in their next relationship, with this type of pattern would you want to get your ex back? This finding should not be taken lightly.
This statistic is based on a survey of 484 adults. The participants were asked to recall a relationship history spanning five years. The results showed that people who admitted to cheating in their first relationship were nearly three times more likely to repeat the practice in their next one. The study also accounted for the demographic risk factors for infidelity. Which ultimately explains that people who cheat, are just cheaters – it had nothing to do with their environment or financial makeup, in the final analysis with all things considered. Summed up; The study concluded that cheaters, are cheaters no matter where they come from, and are likely to cheat again in the future.
The reasons behind infidelity vary greatly. Some of these are short trysts, while others involve much more intense attachments. Some people cheat because they are angry and have a misogynist streak that makes them believe that staying loyal to a man is the only way to ensure happiness. Women are more likely to cheat due to lack of love or for something more serious, but plenty of women will do it to have sex with someone new. It is important to remember that men and women have very different motivations for infidelity.
Infidelity is a problem that women and men alike must deal with. One of the most important things you can do to avoid cheating is for the cheater to be aware of what damage their cheating has caused and it is accepting of what they have done. Accountability is huge. But, if your love interest is incapable of contrition and is still making excuses, those are red flags that should not be ignored. We all make mistakes, even good people, that is life – owning them & correcting them is life too, when you’re a good person. Therefore, you must be aware of what’s going on in your partners mind and where they are in their accountability, before making the final decision to be with a one-time cheater or not.
Once again, while the results from the study indicate that men who cheated in their first relationship are more likely to cheat again, it is important to remember that people change over time. The first relationship was in a different space, time and culture than the second one. This can mean, that they were heavily influenced by the environment they were in, and with a different love, there is hope. Signs of boyfriend cheating could signs of a problem or not, every situation is different.
How do those who cheated in their first marriage avoid the urge to cheat again
Many cheaters do have regret and will ask how a person can avoid cheating again, if they cheated in their first marriage. The answer is simple: it’s all YOU. And yes, cheating is easier if you already cheated in a relationship. That same study by Denver University grad student Kayla Knapp mentioned before, found that people who had cheated in their first relationship were more likely to cheat again in a subsequent relationship. However, history isn’t the only factor that influences a person’s likelihood of cheating on their partners.
Another important factor that determines cheating risk in a marriage is age. Research indicates that cheating is more common in middle-aged men and women than in those in their early or late 30s. In fact, 31% of women and men in this age range admitted to cheating in the past. Education level doesn’t seem to have any direct correlation to the likelihood of cheating. However, Democrats were found to be more often the cheater, as well as the cheated on.
However, the study that analyzed the likelihood of a person cheating in a previous relationship did not take into account the history of the first marriage. The researchers found that men who cheated in their first marriage are twice as likely to cheat in their second marriage compared to those who did not. And, despite this fact, the researchers didn’t focus on emotional affairs or open relationships. They asked 484 adults about their relationships for the last five years.
A survey conducted at the University of Chicago also found a significant gender difference. Men aged 51-59 were found to be more likely to cheat than women. But women aged 60-69 were less likely to cheat than men. This age difference suggests that older women cheat less often than men. However, this is a trend that continues to change. And men aged 40-49 are even less likely to cheat than younger women. Overall, a majority of those who had a history of cheating, cheated again.
Cheaters in their first marriage are more likely to be narcissists
If your partner is a narcissist, it’s not surprising that they would cheat on you. Narcissists are notoriously dishonest people. If you accuse them of cheating, they’ll blame you. They may say it’s because you’re “boring,” “not interesting,” or that you “let yourself go.” Whatever the excuse, a narcissist will blame you for their actions. The truth is a narcissistic adulterer is a tough pick and I would suggest moving on.
The Buss and Shackelford study offers indirect evidence of how toxic the narcissistic infidelity is. The authors had their participants describe two previous relationships and then evaluated their responses and correlated their personality type, to their most common responses. It became very clear that those who were narcissists were more likely to report having cheated on their partner. Although the study has its limitations, it does suggest that narcissists do have an overwhelmingly higher likelihood of cheating on their partners.
The reason narcissists cheat is because they feel superior to others – or worse, that they are just objects – and feel they are entitled to do whatever they want. Narcissists have high sex drives, and they rationalize their behavior as a way to get what they want. And for very many of them, because they don’t believe their spouse deserves fidelity, they cheat. So, if you’re in love with a narcissist, be cautious with your trust & heart.
Watch for the warning signs. Narcissists may hide their phones. They may have a secret phone and spend less on the relationship than usual. And they may spend their money on other people – narcissists often spend a lot of money on new people in their lives, as a way of self-promotion. If they’re in a new relationship, they’ll spend less time with and often MONEY on, you.
Despite these observations, there are contradictions, that should be taken into consideration. But ultimately, there is no denying that there are significant connections between narcissism and infidelity. Narcissists have higher levels of sexual exploitation, coupled with a grandiose ego. Despite their apparent lack of empathy, they are totally concerned with their own drives and needs. Sexual exploitation is not uncommon and is associated with narcissism. Also, it remains a common trait – along with a childish, selfishness – that present often in a person who is coping with an alcohol or a drug addiction.
Infidelity is associated with a very primal level of sexual satisfaction, and lack thereof was associated with infidelity among spouses who stated they were not satisfied with their relationships and sought attention outside of their relationship. However, marital satisfaction did not reach statistical significance, after controlling for sexual narcissism. These findings suggest that sexual satisfaction is not a primary motivator for infidelity; that narcissism is a primary driver in the end analyses. Note, further research is needed to confirm these associations.
How some who cheat in their first marriage do remain unfaithful
There are many reasons for how the cheater reformed themselves, but there is also some common logic behind it. People are often punished by their social groups for being unfaithful. This punishment can take many forms, from gossip to putting limits on going out with their partner. The damage to one’s reputation can limit future quality in their options and reduces their value in the community’s eyes. That can cut two ways; for some it will drive them to be better, to others it becomes the excuse for why they cheat & continue with their dishonest lives.
The statistics on infidelity vary slightly, from 22% to 55%. The results of an online study of nearly 21,000 affairs revealed that 60% of men and 50% of women were unfaithful, and 38% of cheaters considered leaving their spouse. It is important to realize and take into account – as with all studies – that these statistics do not necessarily mean that cheating is inevitable, and there is not a real measurement of the human mind and heart. Many people cheat on their spouses for several reasons obviously, and in many instances, there is no way to prevent it.
The study’s referenced here, are conducted with methods differing from previous studies, as the surveys did not explicitly ask about overlapping relationships. In these studies, respondents were asked to give dates of their first and last sexual encounter with their most recent partner. Experts then examined the data to determine, once again, if there were any overlaps. The study also noted that those who cheated in their first marriage are more likely to cheat again.
The number of married women who cheat is highest among those between 40 and 59 years of age. However, cheating among women between 40 and 49 years of age is lowest. However, women in the middle and lower classes are just as likely to cheat as men. Women from religious backgrounds are less likely to cheat than non-religious ones. Finally, those who live in rural areas are less likely to cheat than those in cities, but this may be due to the lack of anonymity and the increased risk of being caught.
Other factors that may influence cheating include political ideology, family background, and religious activities. Women who grew up with their biological parents are more likely to cheat on their spouses than those from intact families. Furthermore, adults who attended religious services were less likely to cheat than those who attended church weekly.
There is hope for those who have cheated, and you have a 33% chance that you found yourself the one that will never hurt another person like that again – but there’s another 66% that’s more likely you are with one of those who cheated in their first marriage are more likely to cheat on their second. Those are the numbers, be safe out there.
